VK Black Cherry’s guide to being mysterious
Okay so, you’re at the club and you’re throwing your best shapes, cracking your best jokes but for some reason your crush’s eyes keep wandering to the glowering, enigma of a person in the corner sipping on a VK Black Cherry, “I bet they know poetry” your crush murmurs as they drift away from you and into the arms of this mysterious stranger…
Sound familiar? Well we’re here to shine a light into the darkest corners of the club and show you how to perfect the mysterious act
1. Wear sunglasses at all times, even indoors, even at night
Trust us, nothing screams I’M MYSTERIOUS more than constantly sporting a massive pair of shades.
What have they got to hide?
What’s behind the sunglasses?
Is it another, smaller pair of sunglasses?
We’ll never tell.
2. All black clothing all the time
This one is a no brainer really, when did you ever see someone in colours and think “they look mysterious”?
Black clothes are a staple to the club corner dweller, for your first foray into the world of the mysterious we recommend keeping it simple; black jeans, black shoes, black jacket and, most importantly, a band tee for a band that no one has ever heard of, make one up if you must.
3. Reply to all texts with “k”
Being aloof is key if you want to make it as a mysterious being. Replying to texts in a short, non-committal way will convince your pals that you lead a mysterious double life, even if you are just sat in your pants watching Love Island.
Them: Hey you up for a big one tonight? I’ve got the VK in
Them: Mate you are seriously mysterious these days
4. Get a mysterious hobby
Picture the scene, you and your mates are pre-partying getting ready for a night out and suddenly, you set your VK Black Cherry down and say “sorry pals I’ve got an interpretive dance class in 10, will meet you at the club”
Turn up 2 hours later in jazz shoes and tights and do a full “tree caught in the breeze” routine to Old Town Road.
No one will see that coming.